There were five houses of religion in a small town: A Presbyterian Church, A Baptist Church, A Methodist Church, A Catholic Church, and A Jewish Synagogue. Each was overrun with squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were pre-destined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
The Catholic Church decided to baptize the squirrels and registered them as parishioners. Now they only see them on Christmas, and Easter.
But the Jewish Synagogue took the cake. It seems they took one squirrel, had a short service called circumcision, and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.
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